EMDR Therapy in La Grange and throughout Illinois
You’re tired of feeling stuck.
Stuck in your marriage or relationship, stuck in your career, stuck replaying interactions and reactions with your kids, family and friends in your head. My guess is this isn’t the first time you’ve landed on an EMDR therapy page. You’re a diligent person who loves information so maybe you’ve Googled it wondering if it will help you feel better. Or maybe you’ve been intrigued by hearing how life changing it was from friends or family. When done correctly, EMDR therapy can be transformative, healing and can absolutely help you feel better.
Better…
In those moments with your husband or partner when you notice yourself nitpicking and getting critical of everything they do.
In those interactions with your kids when you try so hard to show up as the mom you want to be, but end up yelling and losing your cool again.
During the family dinners with your parents and siblings when, for some reason, everyone just reverts back to their old roles like no time has passed.
Our symptoms are unprocessed memories or experiences that show up in the present but belong in the past.
EMDR therapy can be a difficult concept for even therapists to understand, so it is important that you understand what EMDR therapy is, what it isn't, and what is different about EMDR therapy with me. When disturbing experiences happen to us, they can get locked in our brain in their original form. This can include pictures, sounds, body sensations, feelings, thoughts or beliefs. EMDR therapy is the key to unlock that part of the brain so reprocessing can happen.
EMDR Therapy is:
An acronym that stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
an 8 phase comprehensive model. Only one phase uses the eye movement, tapping or dual-attention that EMDR therapy is so famously known for.
using something your brain already does well and doing it on purpose.
If you’ve ever watched someone in deep sleep, their eyes will move back and forth under their closed eyelids. EMDR therapy utilizes this process to help process stuck, difficult memories held deep within the brain. No amount of traditional talk therapy will activate this area and help reprocess it. By using dual-attention stimuli such as eye movement, tapping, audio or even a repetitive back and forth motion, it can access that part of the brain and help clients move through the stuck memories, negative beliefs and emotions.
EMDR Therapy is not:
A quick fix: it takes time to get through the intake and the first 3 phases of the model. I can’t guarantee a time frame of when we’ll start processing something.
Always easy. These are difficult memories/moments with the feelings and beliefs about self that they bring up. This is why it is important to go slow and for you to have lots of positive resources at the ready.
For everyone. More like the reprocessing phase isn’t for everyone. This is why the assessment is so important (are you sensing a theme here?). BUT, like mentioned earlier, EMDR therapy is more than just reprocessing. We can do so much work in the other phases.
EMDR therapy goes beyond traditional talk therapy and works with trauma at a neurobiological level by slowing down the overstimulated parts of the brain that get activated during difficult/disturbing/traumatic events.
Something I hear from time to time is, “But isn’t EMDR for people with trauma? I haven’t experienced anything traumatic.” I completely get that sentiment. Know that trauma is a spectrum and 100% subjective. Essentially trauma is in the eye of the beholder.
Trauma can, also, be any event that caused you distress without support
Trauma is also:
Any event that required you to react and respond above your developmental age.
When you experienced intense and prolonged fear without appropriate comfort and support.
An upsetting or confusing event that didn’t end in a resolution.
Any event that caused you to numb and/or normalize fear and dysfunctional circumstances.
Numb with anything external like alcohol or drugs, scrolling, apps, food, shopping, sex and everyone’s favorite…WORK.
Believe it or not, the constant striving, never resting, always adding more to your plate is a way to numb.
Numbing in this way can also lead to feeling unfulfilled and constantly at your emotional and stress limit. Numbing or checking out is a way to disconnect from what is going on around us, but it can also lead to us disconnecting from ourselves entirely.
EMDR therapy can help you connect with yourself and your important relationships
Imagine if you could…
Give the podcasts, books, and Google a rest and connect with the innate knowing inside of you
Create pause and space to respond to situations rather than react
Have assertive and effective conversations and communication with the important people in your life
Life would be so much more enjoyable if you could show up as the mother, wife, daughter, sister you deeply desire to be. You would feel more in control if you could have access to positive resources and calm whenever you need them. Let’s work together so you can go about your daily life from a more neutral, less emotional place.
EMDR therapy can help by:
Connection and building rapport in a supportive, therapeutic relationship: you aren’t doing this alone.
Validate that this is difficult and you aren’t alone in struggling with it.
Challenge ways you’ve learned to manage and cope that aren’t working.
Change the future for yourself and learn to heal from the past.
EMDR Therapy is different here because we will …
Prioritize the intake and assessment portion of the EMDR therapeutic model so you are set up for success
Identify beliefs, thoughts, and feelings that are a pattern in your story
Improve your ability to tolerate a calm environment and build positive resources to support you during your sessions
Educate on the various systems of the body and brain and why they do what they do
Reduce the amount of time spent numbing or checking out
Frequently asked questions about EMDR therapy
FAQs
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Yes! EMDR therapy works! Remember, it is more than just the reprocessing phase. There are 8 phases within the model. I know, it seems out there, stilted or even…weird. I get it. We are used to strictly talking about our problems in therapy, not holding tappers or moving our eyes while thinking about disturbing memories. But sometimes talking and opening up that door over and over again can actually make things more difficult for clients. The beauty in EMDR is that we don’t have to talk. There may be a memory or event that you don’t have words for or don’t want to speak out loud. That is okay! Your brain will know what to do without talking. It is also important to note that EMDR therapy works when you are working with a skilled therapist that knows what they are doing. If a client is rushed into the reprocessing phase too quickly, it could make symptoms worse.
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These are such great questions! The second question is easier to answer: I don’t know how long it will take to get to that point. But we will still do great work even though we don’t dive right into reprocessing. As for the first part, I’m a part check-list/part intuitive therapist. There are readiness factors that we’ll be working towards to get you to the point of reprocessing which will include checking for the amount and severity of that numbing/checking out I talked about above. I’ll get a sense of your ability to tolerate positive emotions and calm. We’ll bring in additional internal and external resources so you’re well cared for during and after the sessions. Above all, this will be a contract we make together and something that will be agreed upon by both of us.
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EMDR therapy can definitely be done online. When it comes to the installation of resources or the reprocessing phase, there are many different dual-attention options that can be done over the computer. Some that have been available for decades and some that have come about since the start of the pandemic. We’ll find the right fit for you so you’re using a technique that is comfortable. Many of my clients find doing this type of therapy at home better than in the office setting. They are in the comfort of their safe space and have their items around them. When we are done they have no commute and can ground and calm themselves more quickly.